I Was Feeling Stressed And Gave In

So today I bought a pack of cigarettes . I havent smoked in a long time and i feel like vaping has turned me into a complete nicotine addict and this is why I bough the pack , I wanted to test myself since I know how much I use to smoke . Ever since I started vaping I have been increasing strenght and quantity of juice per day and I vape a lot , some days , I would vape between 10 - 15 ML of 6mg juice and absorb another ML though my skin while building . I smoked my first cigarette in almost a year and I finished it and guess what after that I wanted another one but I didnt take it .

Well before I started vaping I was smoking one cig every 2-3 hours and now I want way more . I am honestly considering quiting vaping and smoking all together , maybe 1 cig day , that would be it . Or maybe I should switch to non rebuiuldable tanks and stop making my own juice because I honestly feel like DYI and rebuildables is what made me vape more , trying different build on different attomizers , trying my new DYI e-liquids , trying other e-liquids that I bought , trying this , trying that , and at the end of the day 20ML of juice gone .

What would you recommend me ?  

Sooo.
I lost my sigelei 150 watt at the airport in taiwan before security.
Noticed it was missing after security (early morning flight, hadnt slept, was on the phone, doing too much at once i suppose)
Anyways, tried to figure out how to get it back by going back out through security.... But apparently, that was impossible, and no one spoke english, so I got super ...agitated... and before I blew up at the next person, I went in to the smoke room and bummed a smoke off some dude. (Cuz i was seriously agitated at this point). Dont get me wrong, i had had a few puffs post vape, but this is the first real full smoke I had. I am not posting this because ive worked myself up in to some guilt trip because I failed myself, I dont really care in that respect...I dont regret having one, because I might have ended up ... doing something bad at a foreign airport out of sheer annoyance and frustration.
Anyways, I remember, when I first started vaping, there was always ...something missing. Something...no there that was there with cigarettes.
Now, The cigarette, Burning my eyes and tasting terrible, and leaving a smell on my fingers that lasted for hours ...all that aside... There is now something missing with cigarettes.
If I had to name something... I would say that the wattage in the cigarette seems too low... or the ohms too high.... Or both, Kinda kidding, but its like that feeling... That coupled with the fact that the airflow is not enough and unfortunately, its not adjustable.... And... I kept trying to draw like i do with my vape, long and slow.... and no... i could only manage short pulls.
The point... Is I just find it weird that I definitely felt something was missing when I started vaping... Something wasnt there, but now, when I went back to smoking, Its like... everything is missing.

Needless to say, the remaining 12 hours of my journey home and to my house from the airport, I didnt crave a cigarette at all.

BUT MAN, when I got home... DID I EVER CHAIN VAPE!

On the upside, I already rebought the Sigelei, This time in Red, And stuck on Mechs till it gets here.  

Figured this experience is worth sharing. On Sunday I slept way too late and left for work in a hurry, leaving my e-cig at home. Considered fetching myself a disposable from the gas station but I wouldn't have been able to stop there and clock in time. So I caved to my urge for nicotine and bummed a cigarette off someone while on break.

At the time it satisfied me. I didn't enjoy it a bit but it quelled my nic sickness. Although what I found horrible is the fact that even having one, I still could smell it under my nose. I washed my face and took a shower later that day and it was still there, the smell was horrible.

Always thought without the chance for e-cigs I'd go straight back to the smokes but now I don't even think I could ever stand to have one again.  

This past week marks 5 years since I smoked a cigarette. It honestly doesn't seem that long, it seems like yesterday I was huddled out in the cold at work with the smokers. I had been a smoker for 28 years.

Unlike many I see posting here, I cannot say vaping helped me quit. I quit cold turkey, and never tried an ecig until about a year after I quit smoking. At that point I was still doing well as a non-smoker, I didn't physically crave smoking, but I missed the 28 year habit of lighting up, having something to fiddle with, and just the relaxing feeling of the inhale/exhale. I had been eating a lot more to make up for the void, and having been underweight all my life I started packing on pounds (too many!). I sorely needed a non-food substitute for the comfort I was missing, but wasn't about to go back to smoking.

I tried a junky convenience store ecig after that first year, and thought "if this was what they were like than forget it". I continued on not smoking, but still missing the habit. About two years after that I began seeing the new advanced products coming out, and did a lot of research. I bought my first starter kit in 2013, and slowly advanced up to bigger and better gear.

People ask why would start vaping after I had already kicked the cigarette habit, and I say, "Why not?". Other than nicotine I'm not getting any of the negative things I got with cigarettes. And in my opinion, there's really nothing wrong with a little nicotine. Nicotine is not what was killing me, it was the smoke that was delivering the nicotine that was killing me.

So I'm 5 years smoke free, I no longer hack in the mornings, my chest never hurts and my clothes, car and hair don't stink anymore.
I have no intentions on giving up vaping, as it has no negative impact on my life, and i enjoy it, so why stop?

I have since gotten my son, my step-son, and his wife to all trade vaping for smoking, so bonus points for saving all their lives too!  

So I heard that the ban in New York will take effect even after the small delay. I'm wondering how I will be able to cope soon. Vaping for me does great things as it keeps me off cigarettes. But one major thing it also does for me is that it lowers my stress level and it relaxes me. Being that I have vaping I have no need to try other things that can be complicated. Someone once told me that my vape is like my pacifier because I always have it in my mouth and I turn to it whenever I am stressed and have anxiety. Truthfully it's terrible that I will be forced to use my pods because Juul couldn't keep their products out of corner stores and leave them for vape shops. When these kids have health issues they blame it on vaping when their parents ask them how it happened and they wanted a high out of school. Even though there is something called deep breathing and vaping isn't done that way I know it cools me off. Many times I was stressed and sweating because, I started to vape and it had it that I was finally able to feel the temperature of the air outside. People need to understand that going with this ban is All Or Nothing thinking, things one is told in therapy to avoid. Now that "it affected a minority" people take it away completely from those who are benefiting from it. Those who are banning - please use common sense - vaping is a lot safer than cigarettes and people are constantly dying from smoke. Vaping was the best thing that has possibly happened in a really long time. Tobbaco plants had a misconception that it was supposed to be smoked until technology introduced a safe method. If it was vaped from the beginning of time people would have lived much longer lives and more people would be born. Those who are cracking down please take this into account.  

I smoked menthol cigarettes for 45+ years. Never cared for the taste or smell of cigarette tobacco, but I liked my menthol. When I tried Blu ecigs, the tobacco didn't taste like tobacco, it just tasted "meh". The menthol flavor was more meh with a mentholesque hint, and they were a freaking hassle. When I finally realized this weird vaporizer shop across the street from the hospital and next to the ambulance company actually sold E-cigarettes, not those things you steam up a room with Vick's Vapo-Rub, I went in and told them about my experience with Blu's and asked if they had anything better. I walked out with an eGo starter kit, some fruit flavors, and some menthol and mint juice to mix with them. Success! Got my menthol/nicotine fix and was able to put down the combustibles! For a year and a half I've been doing the same thing only DYI: Fruit and menthol and/or mint. Just had to have that menthol feel or it didn't do the trick for me.

Last week I got a bunch of new flavors from MFS. I mixed up some desert coffee and a key lime pie concoction, no menthol or mint, and it was GOOD!

Now if only somebody would tell this stupid spell checker there is no "u" in flavor!  

After years of not smoking, I started again at the end of August. There have been a few times over the last seven years, that I have smoked cigarettes. Anytime this had happened, I'd switch back to my vape. Usually within 24 hours of smoking, I could drop it, and go right back to the E cig. This time was different. Here I was, right back to a pack a day. Of course I ended up getting sick. Cigarette smoking makes me highly susceptible to lung infections.
The last time I smoked was a week ago. I am back on my e cig. I can take a deep breath without my chest and lungs rattling. Round two has been a different experience, from the first time I switched. This round I had decent gear and plenty of e liquid.  

I know I'm not a popular user on here like Baditude and all them, been I figured I'd post my story since I've been away.

I've been vaping for the past 9 months, and within the past month, I have unfortunately started to smoke cigarettes again.

In the past I have had problems with depression and anxiety (it started about 3 years ago) and I was on Lexapro and xanax for over a year. Everything was great and I was able to go places and socialize. I stopped taking it a almost 2 years ago thinking I was fine enough to stop. I was, until about 3 weeks ago, all this anxiety started rushing back out of nowhere. It didn't help that I got some sort of flu that was going around but have since recovered from that. At this point, I am afraid to leave my house. I have been having a hell of a time going to work, which was never an issue a month ago. I have had to take time off for the flu and for my anxiety and depression. I broke down at work in front of my boss (not something I'm proud of) and told him I have had these problems in the past and that I need to get back on my Lexapro. So at the beginning of this week, I went to my doctor, which I had a VERY hard time doing as I wanted to pass out and throw up the entire time. She got me back on my meds, but with any kind of anti-depressant it takes a while for it to build up in your system.

I have already taken 4 days off of work, and I'm still afraid to leave my house to do any basic task like going grocery shopping or even just driving (I start to have a panic attack anytime I get stopped at a stop light in traffic.) I'm afraid of losing my job, but I think I can do the FMLA stuff but I'm having doubts on whether what I'm experiencing would allow me to do that. I'll have to read up on what I can do, but I'm just so afraid of losing my job, which would devastate my girlfriend and I know I would get looked down upon by everyone I know. I've been so stressed about it that my body feels my vapes are inadequate and I unfortunately picked up a pack of cigarettes and started smoking again. I'm just so scared right now and I feel like I'm in a rut that I can't get out of.

I know it's not the end of the world, but my mind is telling me that it is, and it's worrying me so bad  

Because of some changes to my income and the snap program in my state, i have decided it's finally time to stop smoking, or at least stop cigarettes. I have an EVOD with a nice glass tank (aspire,) my issue is that i have nasal polyps and they stop my sense of smell. So i have never been able taste the liquid, no matter what mixture i use. Because of that i have always preferred the cigarettes. I like the e cig and all but if given the choice, because of the lack of flavor i would always grab a cigarette before the ecig.

So now i cant afford to keep smoking so i have trying to figure out why i prefer them so much, and one of the biggest ones as far as i can tell is the weight. With a cigarette you can hold it between your fingers and still use your hands, With the e-cig, it's heavy i have to puff and put it down before i can really do anything.

Now because of my taste issues and experimenting, i have 10 bottles of liquid just sitting here that i have pretty much never opened. If i could finish off that stuff it would save me about 120 dollars a month. For me (and i assume a lot of other people) That's a hell of a lot of money.

So what i am trying to figure out is, is there a really light weight e cig out there? Maybe a style that mimics the Blue or other cartridge e-cigs but still allows for refilling? Almost all of my liquid has citrus in it so it would need be glass but it seems like that would still be better then what i have now.

Also cost is an issue. It would have be on the cheaper side of things if possible.

Thanks  

Today I decided to smoke just out of curiousity, (haven't touched a ciggy since the end of march) I thought it sounded like a good idea. Went in the bathroom and stood under the exhaust fan (in the shower lol) and lit one up. Blegh! Took about 3 puffs and threw it in the toilet. Never again. Tasted horrid, no nicotine buzz, and even after showering snd changing clothes I swear I could still smell it. I quickly took a hit from my Istick 30/Subtank nano, and still tasted like crap. Brushed my teeth and could still taste nasty smoke all day long. I don't know for sure if I'll continue to vape long term, but will definitely never smoke again, even the few I smoked before (a few a week). I don't know how smokers that haven't yet discovered vaping do it.